BULLYING

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT BULLYING. Bullying is wrong. Kids say mean things. Kids pick on kids. What bothers one kid another kid can ignore. American kids have a sense of entitlement (everyone is a winner, I am a winner & thus I am better than everyone so everyone needs to kowtow to me, no one has the right to tell me what to do, I know whats best, etc) . 95% of bullying is witnessed. 75% of bullying is witnessed by adults. Boys bully. Girls bully. Parents bully. Siblings bully. Coaches bully. Police bully. Clergy bully. Etc. Junior High kids think if someone looks at them they don't like them (this is a fact). Bullying is NOT a new phenomenon. I was bullied. I don't remember doing it but I was a kid so I can guess I bullied. I'm glad that when my children were bullied they felt ok about talking to their dad and I. It breaks my heart when I see kids being mean to kids. I'm sadder when I see adults bullying kids. As a special education teacher I've spent many hours trying to help my language disordered kids understand that what people say isn't ALWAYS meant to dis them. e.g. "Hey, throw the ball to first." or "Pick up the bat." or "Go get your coat on." or "Don't forget your homework." (All of the afore mentioned quotes were thought as bullying by students I had. I witnessed all but one of these being said. I didn't hear the teacher tell the student to remember their homework.) Some of the people who complain about bullying I've witnessed bullying when they thought no on was listening. You're wrong bullies, we know. DOES EVERYONE KNOW THAT WHEN YOU TRY TO EXTINGUISH A BEHAVIOR THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS IS IT INCREASES RAPIDLY AND EXTREMELY? These are just a few thoughts. Love one another.

 

Another little factoid= Several factors increase the risk of a child being bullied, including parental over-control, illness or disability, passivity, social phobia, agoraphobia, and higher levels and expression of general anxiety.

A Guilt Post and Gardening

I have a few blogs I check regularly and when there are no update I wonder "When are they going to update their blog?" I get so excited when they do. Then I thought I never update (November 2010 is considered never.) so here I go.

I am enjoying updating my flower beds this summer. It has been easy because it's been so cool and wet but the rain has stopped and the heat has begun. Now the work will start.

My roses are very thirsty. I have to avoid getting water on their leave so I am putting a soaker hose down for them. I hope they like that. My impatients are filling out but I got them in late and it's been cool so they are very delayed. My hostas got eaten by something so they look a little rough but they will survive. OH MY, I JUST FOUND A TICK CRAWLING UP MY LEG. Oh the joy of gardening. I do prefer ticks to snakes and mice. [But they all creep me out!]

I think God had a great idea with plants. They make me feel so close to the earth and God. I think that is how it is supposed to be. At one with Nature/God.

I am at peace with my Creator and His Creation. Amen!

Now I feel empowered because I updated my blog!!!!

58 and holding

I got my birthday present early. Dave will be hunting on my birthday, as usual, so he gave me a present early. This is highly unusual. I usually get nothing because he's hunting and I guess I can only have a birthday if he's with me ON my birthday....... I digress.

I GOT A NEW CAMERA FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT'S SO AWESOME. I CANT WAIT TO TAKE PICTURES............ OF EVERYTHING!!!!!!

I have figured out that my husband will not remember the things that I think are important so I have to tell him what I want- exactly what I want. Then neither of us is stressed. AND we're both happier.

I drew out my age with little lines so my preschoolers could SEE how old I am. They were impressed with my line of 58 marks. Later at snack one of the kids said, "Miss Judy's 81" I guess 81 is a lot just like 58. I can't believe I am almost 60. That's AMAZING to me!!! I plan to enjoy the next 58 years as much as I've enjoyed the last 58 years.

Like is grand!!!

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart.......

What do you say to a girlfriend who finds out her husband, that she's devoted to, has been using "porn" as his partner instead of her? Perhaps I hurt so much for her because I've heard her tell others "Our relationship is based on trust." "I don't keep things from my husband." "I love my husband." She's so devoted to him and he's been ignoring her and spending his time cultivating relationships with "other women" on-line. She feels betrayed, hurt, sad, sad, sad.... I think the worst thing for her is she's been telling him for 10 years that she felt something was wrong and he told her it's just the cycle that all men go through- the just slow down. Can you believe she caught him once and he said it was the only time he'd ever done it and he'd never do it again. Then three years later she finds out he'd been doing it for TEN YEARS! He thinks she should just "Get over it." I am wondering if I am not a good person to talk to because I may be too old and don't get the on-line sex thing. Mostly I don't like to see my friends so sad. She's just an empty shell right now. Her questions- how do you build the trust back (after he's lied for 10 years), why did he not talk to her, is it over, how could he lie to her when she talked to him the last ten years about feeling like their sex problems were all her fault and he knew what was wrong the whole time. I once watched a movie that said, "All men are liars." I guess I'm too much of a dreamer to accept that. Uh-oh, this got a little long. Okay ladies, let me know if I'm too old to counsel this young mom........ oh she's also upset because they have 4 children. He says he's never done anything when they were around but she can't believe him. He's mad at her because she continues to ask him questions about the "whys". It's been one week and she'd talked to him 3 times. MEN!

Giants Steps

I walked almost 5000 steps today. That is my highest since Katie and Stacey got me my pedometer. I like that I did it without trying. That was day #1 of preschool.

After doing that and eating great all day I got 4 dozen cookies at Eileens. I only ate 3. No 4. One chocolate/chocolate chunk, one oatmeal raisin, one monster, one choc/choc. Is that pathetic or what? Well, I will try again tomorrow. Dave will have them eaten by the time I get home............. did I tell you I figured out we need to eat opposite diets? Dave- low fat (cuz he has high cholesterol) and Judy- low carbs (cuz I have fat around my middle). And of course I cook the way Dave likes to eat. So now I have to figure out how to cook without having to cook two different meals. ........... I can do it.

For my warm up- me, me, me, me and a right, kick, left, kick turn repeat. Get in shape girl. One step for the pedometer one giant step toward fitness in 2010.

31 Years Ago

31 years ago we were at a youth ice cream social at our church. We were the youth sponsors and we had made homemade ice cream and cupcakes for the event. I didn't get my kitchen cleaned before we left and when we got home Dave said, "Just go to bed. I went to bed only to awaken a few hours later with a back ache- big deal, I'd made ice cream and cupcakes, helped at an ice cream social, taken care of a 17 month old and was one week overdue to have my 2nd child, who wouldn't have a back ache? Dave awoke cuz I was restless. He flew out of bed, said we were going to the hospital, called his parents to come watch son #1 and we left. I was hysterical because he wouldn't wait for his parents to make the 2 mile trip to our house. I couldn't believe we left our child alone (Dave told me could see his parents head lights coming down the road.) and was even more upset because I wasn't having contractions. 5 miles from the hospital I had my first contraction. 4 contractions later we were in the ER entryway having our baby. Scott David was born at 4:14 a.m. He was such a calm little guy. His big brother loved him so much. Our family was complete and I was the happiest mom on earth. Everyone said I didn't look like I'd just had a baby. The day I got home from the hospital I put the boys down for naps and went out to mow (it was my routine). Dave came out and asked what I thought I was doing. I realized maybe I was pushing it but I felt like a million bucks. I was so happy to be a mom and it just kept getting better............ to be continued 4/29/11.

Out with the Old

I had to help move my 84 year old mother out of her apartment- I WILL NOT LEAVE JUNK FOR MY CHILDREN TO CLEAN UP WHEN I MOVE. I enjoyed going through things with my sister but this is the third time we've gone through the same "stuff". So now I have a garage full of my/our stuff to get out of my life. We have 15 rooms in our home and I've gone through 13 of them- bath, shower, master, girls, boys, tv room (minus the board games), rec room, kitchen, living room/dining room, family room, utility room, & store room. That leaves- guest room (my mess), school room (my mess), & den (our mess). Next will be the garage. I am hoping Dave will help but if not I've done it alone before so I know I can do it again.

THEN.............. it's time for school to start and I have to clean my classroom, too.

Less is more! I want less and less- out with the old and in with the nothing!